It’s been about two weeks since my last blog. I’d like to say I just haven’t had the time to sit down and write, but that’s definitely not the truth. I was on spring break last week. You want to know what I did? Absolutely nothing. I was lazy. I wasn’t just lazy… I was the laziest. And I don’t feel even a little bad about it. Well… I feel a little bad about it, but only because it made me get behind on some schoolwork. Oh well…
So what am I going to write about today? Good question.
Before I sat down to write, I asked the Lord what He wanted me to write about.
He said, “your destiny”.
Ok. My destiny. But what IS my destiny?? Well that’s a
loaded question. My answer is simply, “I do not know”. I’ve been thinking a lot
about what that means for me lately. I’m about to finish up my first year of
nursing school and this annoying question keeps popping up… “Is this really
what I want to do for the rest of my life?”
Aaaahhhhh!!! Stupid annoying question, why did you have to
pop into my brain like that?! I could have finished nursing school, blissfully
unaware of any doubts or hesitations, and I would have been just fine! Grrrr.
But since the question is in my noggin, unable to escape, I
suppose it’s time for me to find the answer. Can you really ever answer that
question though? I dunno, we’re getting too deep here. I have to start with
answering why I chose to go to nursing school to begin with. Well… that would
be because I realized having a degree in music wasn’t going to pay the bills
and my parents said I’d be a good nurse. Also, I like kids. Most of them. So
that’s why I moved to Charleston… to become a nurse. But along the way I met
someone pretty cool who kinda changed everything. His name is Jesus. He started
speaking to me about what my destiny is really going to look like, and, well,
I’m pretty excited.
I have made Isaiah 61:1-3 my “life verse” (for the time
being). I keep finding myself coming back to it because something about it
speaks to me, aside from the fact that it’s just an amazing piece of scripture.
Every time I read it, I get super pumped.
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed
me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the
opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of
ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint
spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.
I feel like my destiny is partially wrapped up in these
verses. Since I have come to know Jesus there are so many things that have been
stirred up inside of me.
This is what the Lord has told me about my destiny and my
future:
- I will use my experiences and my testimony coming from a broken home and use it to minister to young girls (and old, who knows) who are experiencing what I went through.
- I will begin to write songs (and blogs, apparently).
- I have received prophetic words about my song healing the masses (um… is that cool or what?! YES Jesus, I receive that!)
- I will be sent out to different countries to bind up the broken hearted and to set the captives free!
He’s told me many other things, but those are the things
that have stood out and have been repeated so far.
So if your thought process is anything like mine, you’re
wondering, “where does nursing school fit in to all of that?” Goodness, you
guys have great questions for me. Well…
let me answer that question for you. I honestly have NO clue. Zero clue
whatsoever. I’m clueless. 100% clueless. Did you guys get that? I have NO
IDEA!!! Do you have any idea how CRAZY that makes me?! I keep thinking that I’m
spending all this time and money and effort (and money!!) to get myself through
nursing school, and I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I’M GOING TO USE IT!! Excuse me while
I go hyperventilate from the stress of it all.
Just kidding.
Kind of.
Every blog I write, I seem to have to ask myself, “Niki,
what’s your point?” I’m long-winded guys, I’m sorry about that. But I guess my
point is this: God has me on this path for a reason. I got in to nursing school
by the grace of God only. I could have not been accepted and gone an entirely
different path. So, why nursing school? I straight up do not know. What I do know
is that someday, I’d like to be involved in ministry full-time. Maybe that
means being a missionary and using my medical degree there. Maybe that means
being a worship leader and never using my medical degree. Maybe it means
something entirely different that I can’t even wrap my mind around yet.
But I know that none of that really matters right now. My
time will come. As long as I have my eyes set on God, I will be on the right
path. As long as my eyes are on God, I am following my destiny every step of
the way.
I’m sorry again that this was so long winded. This is where
I process my thoughts and organize them into something that makes sense. You
all are just kind enough to read them, and maybe they might impact you in some
way.
I pray that whoever is reading this is having a wonderful
week and that the Lord will begin (and continue) speaking to you about your
destiny. He meets you where you’re at, even if you’ve taken some wild rabbit
trail. He brings you back to where He wants you, always. Our Father is one
amazing Daddy!
Bless you guys.
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